Steadfast.

Advent begins on Sunday. It is the time of waiting and preparation for Christ. Advent is the beginning of the liturgical calendar; a new spiritual year. As I begin to make spiritual preparations for the coming year, I liken it to New Years and the making of resolutions. This year, my focus is on the spiritual concept of “steadfast.” Steadfast is defined as being firmly fixed in place; not subject to change; firm in belief, determination, or adherence.


A part of me laughs at my goal. I know me and my cyclical/chaotic personality. I am an idea person quickly filled with enthusiasm regarding dreams, visions, and new concepts, but once the dream moves to actuality and the necessary details, I grow bored. Another part of me knows that integrating steadfastness into my life is critical in my pursuit of the sacred life.

I do not wish to squash or dampen my personality. It has great assets in life and allows me to see possibilities in people, relationships, organizations, and empty buildings. It is this exact enthusiasm that fuels my hope and allows me to help highlight a path of hope for others. A year ago I would have framed my mood cycles and short-lived enthusiasm as negative. I would have looked for ways to extract it from my life. With grace and greater understanding, I have grown to recognize that to wish this part away is to also believe that there is something wrong at a core level of my being. Not to say that I do not have plenty of short-comings or above fault and wrong-doing. What I am saying is that my mood cycles are part of how I am created to be and rather than shame this part of me, I need to instead find ways to enhance it.

I do wish to bring something new to my personality, that being the virtue of steadfastness. Liturgy has a rhythm – times of preparation, times of celebration, times of repentance . . .. While there are various spiritual seasons, there is a repetitive element to the liturgical calendar such as daily readings, daily prayers (often to be said at multiple said times throughout the day), daily Mass, and weekend Mass. The Mass itself has a rhythm and repetition from week to week. There are practices within the liturgical seasons that are not subject to change – they are steadfast. These practices keep one anchored to religious beliefs through seasons of doubt and famine. I may feel distant from God, but I make a public proclamation of my faith through a weekly recitation of the Creed.

I look to bring an attitude of steadfastness into my own cycles. While I may vacillate between enthusiasm and drudgery, I must have something to anchor me spiritually. I must have aspects of my life that are repetitive – that I cling to even when I feel like curling up with the sludge of boredom and depression. I have decided that two things will become non-negotiable in this next liturgical year. I will start my day with daily readings and a time of contemplation and prayer. I will also run the Geist half-marathon in May 2011. For those who have trained for a half-marathon know that it takes a disciplined and determined mindset to make it happen. While this is not entirely spiritual, I do believe that we are holistic beings. In other words, the physical and mental discipline it takes to train for a half-marathon should have natural spiritual implications and lessons to learn. I look forward to the wrestling match as I attempt to incorporate steadfastness into my fleeting and sporadic personality.