We reap what we sow. If we plant seeds of negativity, bitterness, and general ugliness, we should not be surprised when our life and our relationships seem downright awful. Who wants to be around someone who complains and argues all the time? Certainly not me.
Some of us are grumblers. We have a malaise about us. We are far from optimistic in our outlook on life. We believe nothing good will come of our life – we are destined for misery. This is difficult company to be around, but if it is another person I have the choice to gauge my proximity. I will work hard to avoid bad attitudes, for I know they are contagious. I hear whining and I start to get cranky. I can generally keep my distance from such stink; that is unless the stench is me.
Kindness is a powerful tool in removing the foul odor of bad attitudes. Someone much wiser than me once said, “Every day you will make a mark on someone’s life. It is up to you what kind of mark that will be.” Sometimes it is difficult to choose kindness. This morning was one of those for me. I had just learned that a man I greatly admired lost his fight with cancer. He was an amazing man of grace and humility that will surely be missed. Today is also the day the preschool is celebrating a teacher who has survived breast cancer. My kids all have “fight like a girl” breast cancer shirts – they were all laid out ready to wear. My oldest woke up cranky and decided not to wear said T-shirt. For twenty minutes we argued about clothes. She had no idea that I was heartbroken about Gary, cancer, and the fragility of life. She saw me as “mean for yelling.” And she was right. Our negative interactions were compounded by my “meanness” – and in reality, my attitude was not even about her. I was sad, fighting back tears, and just trying to get through the morning routines before school. Our irritability fed one another and we harvested a twenty-minute power struggle.
If only I would have stopped, recognized where we both were emotionally and chosen kindness . . . I imagine I would have resorted to a more playful approach and “hugged the grumps out of her.” I also could have let it go and recognized my insistence on her wearing the T-shirt was more about me and my hurting soul rather than about her. She did not know the context of my irritability nor was it her job to take care of my emotions. If I take a step further back, I could say with confidence that much of the time when I am being unkind towards others it is because I expect them to read my mind. I want them to join me in justifying the reasons for my crankiness. This is unfair. It is not their job to see the complicated layers under my foul attitude. But, I am responsible for the hurtful mark I have made on them.
While I reaped negativity this morning, it is not the only conclusion. In most cases, we have an opportunity to repair the damage our unkindness causes. I will call my daughter later today and apologize for being mean and yelling. I will own my stinky attitude and meet her with kindness. I will choose to not hold a grudge – not to allow anger and irritability to continue to grow between us. She may continue to wake up cranky, and I cannot control that. I can only control how I react – will I match her stinky attitude or will I meet her with kindness? I will choose the mark I leave with my response. May kindness prevail.
Next . . . “L” for Longing.
Some of us are grumblers. We have a malaise about us. We are far from optimistic in our outlook on life. We believe nothing good will come of our life – we are destined for misery. This is difficult company to be around, but if it is another person I have the choice to gauge my proximity. I will work hard to avoid bad attitudes, for I know they are contagious. I hear whining and I start to get cranky. I can generally keep my distance from such stink; that is unless the stench is me.
Kindness is a powerful tool in removing the foul odor of bad attitudes. Someone much wiser than me once said, “Every day you will make a mark on someone’s life. It is up to you what kind of mark that will be.” Sometimes it is difficult to choose kindness. This morning was one of those for me. I had just learned that a man I greatly admired lost his fight with cancer. He was an amazing man of grace and humility that will surely be missed. Today is also the day the preschool is celebrating a teacher who has survived breast cancer. My kids all have “fight like a girl” breast cancer shirts – they were all laid out ready to wear. My oldest woke up cranky and decided not to wear said T-shirt. For twenty minutes we argued about clothes. She had no idea that I was heartbroken about Gary, cancer, and the fragility of life. She saw me as “mean for yelling.” And she was right. Our negative interactions were compounded by my “meanness” – and in reality, my attitude was not even about her. I was sad, fighting back tears, and just trying to get through the morning routines before school. Our irritability fed one another and we harvested a twenty-minute power struggle.
If only I would have stopped, recognized where we both were emotionally and chosen kindness . . . I imagine I would have resorted to a more playful approach and “hugged the grumps out of her.” I also could have let it go and recognized my insistence on her wearing the T-shirt was more about me and my hurting soul rather than about her. She did not know the context of my irritability nor was it her job to take care of my emotions. If I take a step further back, I could say with confidence that much of the time when I am being unkind towards others it is because I expect them to read my mind. I want them to join me in justifying the reasons for my crankiness. This is unfair. It is not their job to see the complicated layers under my foul attitude. But, I am responsible for the hurtful mark I have made on them.
While I reaped negativity this morning, it is not the only conclusion. In most cases, we have an opportunity to repair the damage our unkindness causes. I will call my daughter later today and apologize for being mean and yelling. I will own my stinky attitude and meet her with kindness. I will choose to not hold a grudge – not to allow anger and irritability to continue to grow between us. She may continue to wake up cranky, and I cannot control that. I can only control how I react – will I match her stinky attitude or will I meet her with kindness? I will choose the mark I leave with my response. May kindness prevail.
Next . . . “L” for Longing.
Comments
Post a Comment