Searching for Sacred

Be still. Sure, no problem. Let me just quiet my brain, shut out all the distractions, ignore the multitude of tasks surrounding me, and simply be still. But this is exactly what we need to do. It is here that I reluctantly confess to those who read this, I am a control freak and being still calls me into a space of uncertainty. I am ambivalent in regards to the unknown. On one hand, I am adventurous – I love travel and discovering new things. I love to have the freedom to explore; to step off the beaten trail and be amazed at the revelation of the unexpected. But, even when I explore, I do not venture out so far that I could not eventually find my way home. My adventures have boundaries – I know my limits to my strength, knowledge, emotions, and resources and I do not intentionally veer beyond my line of confidence. I only walk the tightrope of life where I know I have a secure safety net under me. On the other hand, the few times when I have actually had the courage to be still ...

To some, especially those familiar with the grief process, acceptance may seem like the wrong place to start. After all, the five stages of grief begin with denial and ends with acceptance. Healing and grieving often go hand in hand – grieving over lost dreams, mourning of painful memories, longing for what we believe should have happened in our lives – letting go of loss allows us to take steps into hope. Healing is accepting who we are, where we are, and where we have been. It is embracing the narrative of our lives. It is accepting the temperament of our personality, our physical appearance, and our genetic tendencies and capabilities. It is welcoming the resources we were born into including our families, our heritage, as well as our physical and temporal settings. We accept these things that are beyond our control. Accepting who we are may sound obvious. But how many of us spend our time and energy comparing ourselves to others around us. “If only I was more like . . . then ...

I have neglected my blog. I have not exactly neglected writing, though lately it has become more personal and at this point fairly raw. In other words, I am not ready to make it public – perhaps someday, but not this day. But, I do believe I need to continue practicing the art of writing and sharing my thoughts and ruminations with others. Lately I am pondering what authentic healing looks like. More specifically, what do I know about the healing journey as a fellow traveler and a therapist? I think I know a few things. I am facilitating a group discussion of the book, Living Your Strengths. For those of you unfamiliar with the book, it was published by Gallup and is a Christian spin-off of the original book, Now, Discover Your Strengths. Aside from the brilliant marketing that does not permit book sharing, each book comes with a code to take the online strengthsfinder test and discover what your top five (out of thirty-four) signature strengths are. I was slightly surprised by ...

There is much to occupy our lives – much to lead us straight into avoidance of what really matters. I have been convicted regarding the excessive amount of waste in my life. At this point, I am not referring to physical waste (though there is still way too much of that moving through our household), but rather I am concerned about wasting time. I am becoming more aware of the many ways I have welcomed distraction into my life (television, solitaire games on my phone, playing on the internet . . .). Such idle distractions have successfully helped me avoid connecting with people, my inner artist, and the contemplative spirit that fuels a deep intimacy with God. Connecting with others requires a spirit of mindfulness. I am aware of the other’s presence and I desire to be fully present with that person. This means I let down my guard, lower my walls of self-protection and be available to commune with the other. I enter this space on occasion with clients – I make myself available to the...

I am chewing on a new idea – loving something without possessing it. Possession of objects is obvious, at least to my preschoolers in their chants of “THAT’S MINE!” As adults, we work to buy our house, furnish with our stuff, and put our car in the driveway. And if we are not careful, our possessions soon own us. We work hard to acquire and maintain only to realize that we are too tired to enjoy our life. Possession of people is far more subtle – “who gives this bride?” “my children . . . my husband; my church . . . my students . . ..” We acquire these people and then we expect them to look, act, and think like we do. I am confident most of us do not do this consciously or even intentionally. But let’s face it, we have dreams for the people in our lives and when they deviate from what we have deemed the path to accomplishing these dreams we grow frustrated. We buy our little boys “Daddy’s little quarterback” t-shirts in hopes they will be athletic. We dress our daughters in pink dres...

In Ruth Hubbard’s blog ( http://ruthhubbard.wordpress.com/2011/03/13/what-do-you-do-with-culture ), she raised the question “how do we respond to culture?” Ruth highlighted five common responses to culture that I quote below:  CONDEMN–When we do battle against culture as if it is an evil to be vanquished.  CRITIQUE–When we judge the value of culture as good or bad.  COPY–When we mimic culture as if it’s better than what we could come up with ourselves.  CONSUME–When we simply ingest culture without filters.  CULTIVATE–When we take what is good in culture and keep it good.  CREATE–When we create culture. Being a lover of culture, philosophy, sociology, etc., I began pondering this question once again. I have come to the conclusion that to respond to culture carries the risk of engaging in a power struggle to prove one’s worldview/perspective/creation is better than another.  I am not suggesting that all cultural responses are equal or even beneficial. While living...

I started praying again. This sentence suggests a period of time where prayer was absent from my life, and that would be accurate. I used to pray for very specific things, as if God were a genie – I rub the lamp, state my wish, and “poof” it would magically appear. If God failed to meet my request, my insecurities silently cried and questioned my worth. Eventually, God’s silence brought forth anger within me -- “God is absent. God is dead. I do not need God.” My journey back to prayer has been a slow process. I first had to all the layer of anger to melt away. Healing and peace have been a wonderful blessing. But under this layer were core questions regarding the role of God, humans, and prayer. Are we pawns in God’s cosmic game of chess and therefore prayer has no impact on outcome? Is God a genie-god waiting for us to state our wish, plea out case, and then respond? While there are theological schools of thought that would affirm each god-image, I cannot believe both fall short in...